Today’s blog post is from Rebekah Methvin. She and her husband teach the Nearly/Newlywed 2 class at Highland. She has an amazing and moving story of God’s love, faithfulness and consistency….
It has been over 2 years ago since our lives changed forever. I try sometimes to recollect how I was or who I was before March 20th, 2010. I imagine myself going about my day that was probably nothing far from ordinary. Was I happier? Smile More? Worry less? Calmer? Because that was all before. Before the craziness. Before the wind was knocked out of us.. Before I ceased to be who I was and started to become who I am now. I think about God, and the God of before March 20th, and who I thought He was. And who I know Him to be now.
And the truth is the God I knew before, and the God I know now are totally different. He’s a God that can’t be defined in a Sunday School lesson or thought of only on Sunday mornings. He wants ALL of us and to be involved of every aspect of our lives. He is full of love, abounding in mercy and overflowing with grace. The God I knew all about from years of church became more real to me than I could ever know. The God I now know weeps with us and for us. He IS Good and has our best interest at heart, even if it means pain and suffering. He longs for the day when He can “wipe every tear from our eyes” Pain and suffering is NOT His form of punishment. His desire is for us to become more like Christ, and sometimes pain and suffering brings us to depth of knowing Him that can’t be achieved any other way.
For me, who He is became a matter of life or death. At 31 years old, I found myself in a place of many questions. My husband and I had just buried our 6 week old son, and I nearly lost my life in the process. I questioned His sovereignty, His goodness and is He REALLY all those things He says He is. In my search to answer these questions I came to realize how truly unworthy of Him I was. He is all the things He says He is…and more. It was by God’s grace that my life was spared in that operating room on March 20. By His mercy I am able to watch my precious boys play in the backyard everyday. By His goodness that the God of all creation wants to know ME. And this man, my Jesus, who I grew up loving and learning about now held in His arms, one of my most valued possessions,…my child.
We spend a lot of time as believers trying to put ourselves in “others” shoes. We watch tragedy strike families and we simply think, there is NO way I could survive that. And then you become the “others” that you have watched and prayed for. It hits your family. And you are given an unspeakable amount of grace that can only be found through Him. You look back and you see how His hand shielded you, guided you, and gave you the strength to put one foot in front of the other daily. You come to know Him in a more richer, deeper and intimate way. He becomes your daily Hope. Suffering takes your heart to a place with God that it cannot be reached any other way. The reality is that He is the one constant in a tragedy filled world. We change constantly. Our lives are always changing…jobs, friends, finances, and even our families never stay the same forever. Our own loved ones will let us down. We can’t cling to that and be satisfied. We were made for more. The world can strip us of all these things tomorrow and only one thing remains the same…… Him. The bible says that absolutely NOTHING can separate us from His love. No matter what we face in our lives…He continues to remain the same, and that my friends, is HOPE
I still remember this phrase that I somehow managed to repeat to myself as I held Mills while he took his last breath: He is still the same. And again when I handed my lifeless baby over to a nurse for the last time: He is still the same. And again when I walked hand in hand with my husband picking out a spot to bury ourselves and our child. ..He is still the same. And again when I sat by his graveside and thought I would die right there of a broken heart….He is still the same…..He is still the same…..He is STILL the same…
And He still is.